I wish...

It is not easy to be Dorian Grey, isn't it?

I just can't hide my thoughts from my face. I tried. In vain.
Why should I not be truthful in the first place?
Why should I be apologetic even when I don't find myself in wrong?
Why do I have to put on a smile when I am so in foul mood?
Why am I feeling so teeny weeny?
Why can't I cry out loud in front of all?
Why am I still here?

Dorian Grey is not an answer to "why" but an escape from "why". I need a mental runaway.