我想牵着你的手不放开

I didn't tell any of them about the size of the tumour. I merely said it has grown bigger "slightly". Actually, it has grown substantially. The oncologist told my dad it has grown moderately. But it is not exactly what the report wrote. And when I asked the oncologist if the growth is too big. He replied that size is no longer significant. What is important now is to maximise his time.

I tried not to think too much on the size as well. Things don't look good on the report, yet, my dad lives well. Perhaps what we can see physically is better than what is on the report like what the oncologist told me.

It was a great relief for him. Before the consultation, he was afraid that he might be hospitalised over the chinese new year. When the oncologist announced that no new growth is found and everything looks good from the MRI, he let out his smile. So is my mum.

I hope he stays positive and well. That is all I wished for. I still wanna hold his hand, still wanna eat his favorite curry noodle like we did yesterday, still wanna see him holding his grandchild in his arms...

There is still plenty for him. And ...

Dear god

Let me take the pain in place of him...