Waiting for First Light

Here I am, 5.49 am in the morning.

I am waiting for myself to get tired and sleep comfortably. I have been thinking. Why am I forcing myself to sleep when I can't? I detest tossing myself, hypnotising myself to sleep (which doesn't help at all). Maybe I should just engage myself with something till the signs come.

... waiting for the first daylight.

After months, I still have to leave the light in the bathroom on to sleep. I can't sleep in pitch black. Too scary. And hearing those house break-in cases, I woke up from sleep whenever I hear noises. Is that some thieves breaking into my home, carrying the TV out? ... And I locked my bedroom door whenever I am in my room.

Oh yes...I am feeling insecured, bored, and paranoid too. Perhaps on top of the emptiness, all these cause the inability to sleep.

6.16 am.

Finally daylight came. It is freezing cold. I can't hardly feel my nose and fingers. Still not sleepy yet. I guess Memoir of the Geisha should make me sleep 'cos I have nothing more to crap on...

Good Morning Brisbane! I am tucking myself in bed.

Cheers
sq3169